There is little doubt that the sayings of Homer Simpson have become food for fodder and deep thought in today's pop culture. I am not sure what that says about us, but a religion based on his weekly humor can't be far off. Here are a few choice samples:
Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well...all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!
Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually!
You can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They look as good as they taste. And they come in this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain't ketchup!
Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one's garden.
Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um... Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer.
We'll die together, like a father and son should.
Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well...all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!
Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually!
You can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They look as good as they taste. And they come in this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain't ketchup!
Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one's garden.
Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um... Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer.
We'll die together, like a father and son should.
About the Author:
Aazdak Alisimo absolutely loves the Simpsons and any source of funny quotes, which he collects for FunnyQuotesDaily.com.
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